Saturday, January 28, 2012

XXIV [The Mad Halfling] clean & keyed!

Anyone that knows me knows I love halflings/hobbits, all my favorite and most memorable characters have been of the shorter height. So early this morning when I drew this map, I just fell in love with it. I should like it anyway, right? It's mine, so I should. Anywho, I liked the map and its curious resident, the Mad Halfling Finzickler (Fin) and immediately the gears started turning.

1- The Lower Entrance. Anyone approaching this area will immediately notice a repugnant odor, one so revolting they will have to fight back the urge to vomit. If one searches, around the entrance can be found numerous small bones scattered about. Close inspection will reveal tooth marks on the bone.
2- Booger's Lair. Booger is a large ogre with substantial deformities: enormous right side that dwarfs his left side. Over a year ago he was involved a fight (with his twin sister...but that is another story) which resulted in a large portion of his cranium being crushed inward. Fin has developed a relationship with Booger utilizing various flashy, but worth little gems, 'sparklies' as Booger calls them. Fin's agreement is that Booger guards the lower entrance to the lair and ensures no one can come up the tunnel and catch Fin off guard. Convincing Booger to stab Fin in the back will be very difficult. A small tunnel heads out of the room and towards area 3, the tunnels is so small, only creatures halfling of goblin size could fit through.
3- Steeps Stairs. Steep and narrow stairs lead upwards. The steam from area four above causes these stairs to be moist and very slippery. Anyone heading up these stairs will incur numerous dexterity checks to climb the stairs in addition to battling the inhabitants: molds of various types and dangers.
4- Steam Baths. Any approaching this room will feel the temperature rise and the humidity increase. This room contains two large, steaming pools. Fin uses one for cleaning (clothes, dishes, etc) and one for bathing. The crystal clear water keeps his skin smooth and provides a welcome retreat from a cold day.
5- The "Gentleman's" Parlor. This room is filled with exquisite dark mahogany and leather furniture, all of it very large and heavy. (How Fin got the furniture up into the cave is unknown.) A strong stinging odor of cigars floats in the air. A massive table rests against one wall, the top covered with dozens of sparkling bottles of strong spirits. A fancy decorated tin box contains expensive cigars.
6- Bed Chamber. A fancy four corner poster bed rests in the center of the room. Inviting, soft silky sheets cover the bed and fluffy pillows cover the bed. Fin clearly has something in mind for this room.
7- Office. A fancy desk rest in this room with a single, small but plush leather chair.Numerous books and papers are located on top and inside the desk. The bottom right drawer is locked and contains Fin's treasures: 200gp, gems worth 1,200gp, a necklace worth 900gp, and a rolled small leather pouch containing five vials of unknown liquids.
8- Dining Room. A single large wooden table rests in the middle of this room. A massive tapestry hangs from the ceiling displaying a royal halfling lord on a rabbit hunt atop an impressive looking war-goat. How Fin managed to get his paws on these, never mind getting into the cave, are unknown.
9- The Balcony. These steep cliff requires one to make a severely difficult climb up forty feet of sheer rock. Fin's small size has enabled him to find an easy and quick path up the wall which he has marked, though to the naked eye you would never know it.

Hope you like it!

UPDATE: A few people mentioned the font was too hard to read so I did a quick edit.


  1. "Fin clearly has something in mind for this room."

    That is funny. Great map!

  2. I don't like hobbits much. But, I love this!

    Proper hobbits should be in a hole somewhere, smoking a pipe, nestled into their plushest comfy chair. Not sneaking around damp dungeons, poking things from behind.

    Madness indeed!

    1. Ah, you see I ran out of time today before properly writing up the palace and doing it justice. Fin has the place looking and feeling nothing like a cave. The walls are covered with tapestries, rugs cover the floors, incense burns in the corners, silk blankets are draped over the plush chairs and couches...the place bleeds expensive.

      No one would consider Fin's hobbit hole a dank, damp, dangerous place. :)