Friday, May 27, 2016

Squared dungeons

I have a long time friend that has hassled me about my 'square dungeons' that I sometimes make. You know what I mean, squared off rooms in dungeons. He argues that this is silly and no one would spend the time required to dig out a perfectly squared room beneath the earth.

I hereby call bullshit.

The Tomb of Ramesses II (Ramesses the Great). Not only is this one square but there are right angles all over the place! Perfectly straight tunnels! It looks like they got far in, had a little too much mooboo juice and goofed in a single angle and threw off the entire part after the antechamber. I bet ol' Ram was rolling in his sarcophagus.
Ok, and look at this one, this is a photo of the tunnel. Heck, they even squared off the ceiling!

Now, you might say "But Matt, maybe it was just this once, Rammy was stuck on perfect squares or something. He was a square dude!"  Nay, I say nay sir. Look here at the Tomb of Merneptah.

Square shit everywhere. A nice sloping angle but straight as an arrow all the way down. The burial chamber:

The main hall:

Now you may be saying, "Yeah yeah, so a few people liked squares in Egypt, so what?" I say again Nay! Look at this shit, a full blown square-fucking-orgy at the largest of the Egypt tombs ever discovered, KV5:

This one is a freaking dead on copy of half the D&D maps out there. Hell, they count around 70 SQUARE fucking rooms. Someone had a serious hard on for squared corners and shit. Anyway, cool PDF here if you want to download, print and run/kill your friends in it:

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